I've learned a lesson for you all tonight. If you use too much toilet paper, it will clog the toilet. If you have a broken rubber thingy on your toilet, it will keep mini-flushing. If you have a clogged toilet *and* a broken rubber thingy? Your bathroom will flood. So even though you think you're super clever by peeing in the shower so you don't have to go out and buy a plunger.... you're mistaken. The toilet always outsmarts the human. Always.
Now... onto my introductions! I'm going to go in order of meeting them so that no one thinks I'm playing favorites.
italianqt:
Ahhh Steph. Staph. Stapharinie. Staphalopogus. Stapharooni. Lovahpampts. She's my ex-roommate, but we didn't move out on bad terms. So it's not like I hate her and want alimony or anything. I watched her grow and learn and open her mind into the person she is today. I also saw her drunk off her ass eating jalapeno poppers straight off the table. You win some, you lose some. Her head recently fell off and when I went to "simply pick her up from the hospital", we ended up staying with her for a few hours. And her boyfriend Michael. She works with air conditioners and installers and people all day. Chuck Norris is her wet dream. MAC is her second wet dream. Tonight she peed on a stick. We're going to get married at a gas station. Ooh and her nipple? She placed it gingerly upon my nose.
lick:
My Rachikins. My little hot pocket. My lixsicle. Yes, I have obnoxious nicknames for everyone. Anyway, Lick is the bra to my tittays. Lick is the money clip to my money. She's the pudding to my bread. She's the best friend I've never met in real lifeskies. We have this weird relationship where we constantly hit on each other and make everyone else just slightly uncomfortable because they're not sure if we're kidding or not. I fell in love with her when she told me the story of a girl and a hot tub.... and I've been completely smitten with her ever since. Have I mentioned she's hot? Yeah, I'd hit it. And I have a card she sent to me hanging on my fridge that has unicorns and rainbows and hearts on it. That is literally the epitome of Rachikins.
Logo:
Ahhh Logo. Loganomic. Logotronic. Shnookums. Why do I feel the need to start each of these intros with nicknames and a reminiscing tone? Ok on to the important stuff. When he first came into the chat room I was my usual obnoxious self and instantly nicknamed him Logo and he said "hmph". That's pretty much all he says? And his "hmph" has many different emotions to it. He lives in Jersey but came out to San Diego to visit his daddy once. Steph made the three of us meet up- we were too lazy and didn't really care. Well his wiley charms- talking about black ice, California drivers, and elbow babies- made me swoon. Sooo now he's my boyfriend. Muh boyfrieeemd. Muh wittle hampsum shmookerpampts wiff his wittle stefoscope and thcrubth. I should probably mention that embarrasing him is one of my greatest joys in life. Yeah, I'm a gem.
Melinie:
Mmeeellliiinniiieee used to be a moderator for one of our old chat rooms so automatically she was the enemy. I couldn't talk about peener or drop F bombs around her- that's evil if you ask me. So when someone decided to be the King Asshole of the old chat and when I asked Melinie if she'd like to create a new chat and she said "Oh fuck yes thank god"? I knew I was going to love her. Melinie is the person you always love and never hate. She has this sense of humor that will just completely slay you. And she makes pastries at work all day for fuck's sake. Who doesn't love that?! Oh! And she drools on rats and hates ayshuns (which is amazing because I'm going to school for Chinese medicine... she just rocks back and forth and imagines me making orange chicken. This keeps her calm).
Laurenie:
I only have Laurenie last because I'm honestly not quite sure when the eff I met her. She was like, the person who joined the chat and sneakily made her way into my heart. She's the really hot blonde that you think is dumb as shit but then you learn that she was the only girl in AP Chembiophysiostattracheotomy. Laurenie is easily addicted to animals, all kinds and any kinds. And I'm proud/ashamed to say that I got her addicted to hermit crabs. Like.... I get at *least* eight pictures a day of her hermies. And I wouldn't have her any other way.
So there's my besties and the people I 'hang out' with on a daily basis. I love you guyth.
No comments:
Post a Comment